permission to give up

I was never told that it was acceptable to give up. I was always taught to never give up, and this has become a problem.

It is a dangerous mindset to have, that you should never give up on anything, especially for someone with anxiety. Anxious people want to have control over every person, thing, and situation that is in close proximity to them and in an effort to protect themselves against experiencing loss, conflict or failure they strive for perfection and control and will avoid difficult situations and making tough decisions if there is even the slightest possibility of someone they care about getting hurt or let down in the process. Being this high strung will eventually drive a person crazy and inhibit their ability to become a well rounded individual.

Some people have a natural ability to let go and surrender to whatever they believe has more control than they do. Others struggle to even imagine what that would be like if it were possible.

When it comes to making decisions of any kind, having a realistic mindset while weighing the pros against the cons is the only legitimate way to figure out what you actually want or need. If you spend all the time you have worrying about things that are out of your control and being so afraid of making a mistake that it paralyzes you, you will never learn anything or grow as a person, and that should feel more threatening than anything.

Some of the hardest lessons I have learned in my life so far were only learned as a result of my own mistakes and failures. The only way to experience something is to go through it. Not by throwing caution entirely into the wind, but by allowing yourself a small amount of slack and freedom to occasionally make a mistake that you can learn from.

If you are having a bad day that just continues to get worse and none of what is going on is your fault, you can give up on having a good day. Doing this won’t magically make anything worse. It might actually make you feel better to just let the waves hit you for a while. Do whatever you have to do to get through the day, but know that when you go out of your way to remedy an internal situation it will only leave you exhausted, frustrated, and without the results you were looking for. Those feelings and problems will always find their way back to you.

It is critical for the sake of our mental health that we find the root of any problem and begin to work on it in a nondestructive manner. The sooner we let the known fact that a temporary fix does not accomplish anything in the long run sink in, the better.

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